After being diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time in April of 2023, I began my healing journey. A few months later in my quiet time one morning, I clearly heard, “give me 90 days.” It wasn’t said aloud, but more like a thought that came to my mind, a whisper from the Holy Spirit. I knew in my heart that it meant I was to abstain from alcohol for a time. You would think that it would be easy considering the fact that I was literally fighting for my health and doing everything I could to heal, spending thousands of dollars on what is considered “alternative” care in our country. I had learned that my body needed to detox from environmental toxins that I had been exposed to along the way, including aflatoxin, a cancer-causing mold, heavy metals, and a host of other unwanted things that were burdening my immune system.

Let me clarify that I am not an alcoholic, but I do enjoy and appreciate good quality wine and a few cocktails from time to time. I am very social, and alcohol is an integral part of our social gatherings. In the interest of being totally transparent, there have been times when I knew I should probably cut back. I am what Jolene Park refers to as a gray area drinker. I exercise, try to eat healthy and have regular quiet times with the Lord. However, there have been stressful periods in my life when I reached for my vino to hit the off button. Jolene has a great TED Talk worth listening to on this very subject. Check it out here: TedTalk.

There is so much stigmatism and shame around drinking that no one really wants to talk about it, but it is everywhere. Up until a few years ago, there were not really any resources for “gray area drinkers.” I love that there is a new, sober movement across the world with mocktails and organizations, like the Sober Sis community, where women can find connection with others on an alcohol-free journey. Sober bars are now emerging, and they’re transforming how we think about nightlife and socializing, offering creative alternatives and vibrant atmospheres.

But this blog is not just about alcohol; it is primarily about obedience and collaboration. Don’t we hate the sound of the word obedience? It sounds so heavy and religious. The truth is that our obedience to God’s directive is directly related to our level of trust in Him. It is about learning to be in alignment with His plan for our lives. It’s also an invitation to collaborate with Him.

When I consider obedience, my teen immediately comes to mind. I know what is best for him; I give him boundaries so that he will be safe and flourish. Our relationship is more peaceful when he has his priorities straight, but I still love him more than anything in this world even when he chooses not to listen.

It is the same way with us and God. God is a God of grace, and he gives us many opportunities to come along side of him because he wants to bless us with good things. We walk in obedience, not from a place of entitlement, but from a place of holy expectation. We have no idea what is waiting for us on the other side, but it is always something better than we could have possibly imagined.

Remember the Israelites? Caleb and Joshua were the only ones out of all those wandering in the desert who were able to move into the promise land because they followed God’s leading. Everyone else was afraid of what was on the other side and chose to stay where they were comfortable even though it was not a good environment. The Bible tells us that at one point they even longed to go back and live as slaves because it was familiar.

Read that again: they longed to go back and live as slaves!

God often uses divine interruption in our lives to get our attention, shake us out of our comfort zone, and redirect us to our promise land. He uses disruption to bring us to a new level and mold us into strong leaders.

God does not cause the desert seasons, but perhaps he allows these periods in our lives to get our attention. Disruption tests our trust and reveals hidden idols, anything that has more of our heart than it should. He shakes us to wake us from complacency, mediocrity and worldly distraction. The goal of the enemy is to get us to focus on something, anything other than walking in alignment with God.

Sometimes we can view obedience as this difficult, heavy obligation, but blessing, trust and obedience are a package deal. God wants ALL of our heart. He wants to be at the center of our life, not just a part of it.

Marshawn Evans Daniels explains, “Obedience is not meant to be this ominous, heavy thing. It’s an invitation to enter a faith adventure (collaboration) with God. Never forget that the most blessed lane you can live in is wherever the Holy Spirit flows.”

HOLY SPIRIT POWER:

I tried many times to stick to a plan and got derailed along the way. One day I realized that, unintentionally, I was trying to make changes in my own strength after I read Acts 1:8. It says, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you.” As believers we all have access to the Holy Spirit, but it is probably very underutilized by most Christians. As I began reminding myself of this, I looked up more verses on the Holy Spirit, and I prayed for God to give me a fresh perspective.

At that moment I saw a clear picture in my mind of a bird’s eye view of my calendar over the next 90 days. It was if I was flying high above the calendar and looking down on it. From that view, 90 days appeared to be but a blip in time. I was making this obedience thing way harder than it had to be. When my perspective changed, my mind changed.

Later that day I went to the gym and saw a sign that read, “it takes 21 days to form a habit and 90 days to created sustainable change.” I love how God reinforces messages he gives us. He knows how our brains are wired because he created us.

TAKE ACTION:

We can’t just pray and expect things to change overnight; that rarely happens. We have to create a plan consisting of goals, steps and habits, a blueprint to get us where we want to go. To meet our goals, it is important to write them down and then take action. Habakkuk 2:2 says, “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.”

HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF?

Part of changing your perspective and creating real, lasting change often involves redefining your identity. If you don’t see yourself as healed, you won’t be healthy. If you don’t see yourself as successful, loved, and fulfilled, then you won’t be. What you think and meditate on matters. Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

As we move into the holiday season and on to the New Year, my challenge to you is to examine your “gray areas.” When we have an employer, we take part in quarterly or annual reviews. Why not have a review of our personal and spiritual life? Don’t be afraid to ask yourself hard questions; this is where growth happens. If you need help, seek out a reputable life coach or wise mentor to guide you.

LOOKING AHEAD to 2025:

• Have you been feeling nudges to make some changes in your life?
• Where do you see yourself in January — tired, bloated and dreading the New Year or geared up for healthy, positive changes?
• Where do you want to be next summer, in 3-5 years?
• Close your eyes and visualize what you want to be doing, who you are with, and how you will feel.
• Ask God to give you a fresh perspective.
• Then make a plan and follow it!

Consider this your invitation to step out of your comfort zone and into a new adventure of trust and faith with God.

New seasons call for new strategies, and new strategies often call for courage.

Love,

Lori

P.S. We will dive deeper into the topics of identity and goal setting in the coming months, so stay tuned!